Part 224: Chapter the Tenth: At the doorstep of immortality.
Chapter the Tenth: At the doorstep of immortality.March 26, 2028-April 17, 2028
The big match coming up is against Manchester United, and I can't impress on my players enough how vital it is that we take something from it. A win sees us up nine points on United with one more game played. A draw keeps us ahead by six. And a loss means we're within their reach at three points above them, and gives them the ability to pull even by winning their game in hand.
Stay healthy, damnit. The injury bug is tearing a swath through our club.
Even our U18 kids have been dropping like flies.
vs Paris Saint-Germain, March 28, 2028
Champions League, Quarterfinal Home Tie
With the second leg being played in Paris we need a whole bunch of goals today to destroy PSG's morale and disabuse them of any notion that they can reach the semifinal.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Laux, Quiboulaz, Zouaghi, Shirra, Damgaard, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Leandro, Hammatt, Bailey, Allan, Lundbye, Hubert.
A ten minute span sees us score three times in the first half. Zouaghi makes a great interception at midfield, and Stringel takes it to the house, then Stringel adds a second on a counter attack seven minutes later, and finally Meteor scores three minutes after that. The flurry of blows leaves PSG staggering and us looking confident and collected after a half hour has elapsed. But PSG come roaring back after the break thanks to the perfidity of the referee. An offside goal by Cirelli is allowed to stand at the start of the second half:
Then the referee reduces us to ten men by sending Reed off for a second, undeserved, yellow card, and Thiago has a goal called back on an offside call. We're able to withstand PSG's efforts when they're not getting an assist from the stripey bastard of a ref, but thanks to that missed call they still have a glimmer of hope come a week from now.
Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel
Wrexham 3-1 PSG
That's the lowest rating I've ever seen for a ref. I'd fire him just on that one performance, it proves he has no business refereeing soccer.
Send him to my office.
What were you expecting? You got sent off in a vital match, and will miss another very important match because of it. I don't care that the ref was an idiot, you still knew better than to risk a card after earning your first one.
Ali Bouzid is a boss. He's giving me all types of tough selection choices by playing as well as he has.
If I win the April one we'll have taken the league.
vs Aston Villa, April 1, 2028
Premier League
We've got enough strikers healthy to use the Pyramid again. Aston Villa is a perfect target, they're probably safe from relegation with a four point edge over Reading but certainly aren't having a good season.
Starting Formation: The Pyramid
Starting 11: Minami, Tounkara, Laux, Bailey, Allan, Zouaghi, Damgaard, Stringel, Rickard, Thiago, Mujkic (c).
Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, Quiboulaz, Shirra, Bouzid, Hubert, Lundbye.
Bailey gives away a penalty in the 32nd minute. Minami is able to parry the penalty, but the ricochet returns to the penalty taker and he has a shot that even I could make. That's all of the scoring the match sees for an hour, and 63 minutes in we're just not creating good opportunities. I ditch the Pyramid for the 4-2-3-1 and turn up the tempo. Furious attacking occurs over the final twenty-five minutes, and James Loseille is our savior with an equalizer in the 83rd minute. We manage a draw, while Villa's goalkeeper rightfully takes the man of the match award. He made five great saves to keep his team in the game and stymie us.
Wrexham 1-1 Aston Villa
I'm madder than a wet hen. Now we need to pick up a point from our tilt with Manchester United to stay ahead of them on points.
James Loseille has been brilliant all year. He's created nine goals as a fullback, good for seventh on the team and ahead of the likes of Thiago, Callum Allan, and Claus Damgaard.
Can't handle the heat, AJ_Impy? You've still got a chance to escape relegation, you're six points back of Aston Villa with five games left.
You're the man, Sky Shadowing. Two days after our botched match against Aston Villa you straight up beat Manchester United and make everything right as rain.
At Paris Saint-Germain, April 5, 2028
Champions League, Quarterfinal Away Tie
If we lose 2-0 our dream of another triple dies stillborn. Such an outcome isn't impossible, and we need to play much better than we did against Aston Villa to keep it from happening.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Zouaghi, Shirra, Lundbye, Allan, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Tounkara, Damgaard, Bouzid, Hubert, Thiago.
My hopes of taking the game to PSG on their home turf prove illusory, and after 15 minutes I've ordered us to play a more conservative game with an emphasis on counter attacking. I'm rewarded with a Jacob Lundbye goal in the 25th minute, and now that we're level on away goals I feel much more confident about being ahead come full time. Stringel locks things down in the 34th minute on a drive where we matriculated the ball down the field using short, accurate passing that flummoxed the defense. A Meteor goal in the second half kills any remaining chance of a comeback, and our squad completes a superlative job in Paris.
Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic
PSG (1) 0-3 (6) Wrexham
If Leclerc wins he should thank our three candidates for splitting the vote.
We're going to get Arsenal, aren't we?
Nope! This is the second time we've faced Madrid in the late stages of the Champions League, and they might be the only top level team with a positive goal differential against us.
I've swiped three fifteen year olds from their original clubs for the sum of £5.1m, all of whom are 3 star or higher prospects.
Nsingi here is the only target who escaped me, opting to sign with his home club rather than come to Wrexham. We'll have 23 players for next season's under-18 team. Each has a Premier League future, 19 could become above average or better, and 11 came through our youth academy rather than from other teams.
HAHAHA! Manchester United had 18 shots, but 9 of them were from long range and only one was on target. Credit Tackleford's defense, and the injuries to Cyril Boumsong (out 4 months with a torn hammy) and Maxim Fenin (out two months with a dislocated shoulder) that left United trying to equalize with only 10 men on the pitch.
vs Norwich City, April 9, 2028
FA Cup, Semifinal
Let's not pull a United. This should be made easier by Norwich not being able to use Stephen Cooke or Aymen Ayari, two of their best players who are on loan from our organization.
Starting Formation: The Pyramid
Starting 11: Minami, Tounkara, Laux, Zouaghi, Shirra, Bailey, Lundbye, Stringel, Rickard, Thiago, Mujkic (c).
Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Loseille, Allan, Damgaard, Hubert, Bouzid.
The Canaries can't get their attack off the ground, while Ellis Rickard stokes our fires with a header in the 22nd minute. The Norridge keeper makes an error on a Lundbye shot from long range five minutes later and they have it all to do. They're able to pull one back, but it's erased because their striker couldn't keep himself onside when Tounkara springs the offside trap.
Damgaard replaces Mujkic during halftime, our captain has picked up a nagging injury and I don't want to risk it getting worse. That helps Norwich make a game of things in the second half, scoring with plenty of time left, but we see the match to an end without further incident and have booked a reunion with Tackleford under the bright lights at Wembley.
Wrexham 2-1 Norwich
Words cannot express how wonderful this is. I hardly believe that they made it all the way to the final, especially considering who stood in their way. Overcoming three Premier League teams as a lower division club is impressive. Overcoming Manchester-fucking-United in the semifinal is amazing.
Moctezuma may miss the next match, but will certainly be cleared to play both legs of the CL semifinal against Real Madrid.
Pickee's been injured twice now during his spell at Porto. I doubt they're going to buy him.
At Manchester United, April 12, 2028
Premier League
Any type of result here will be the knockout blow that ends the title chase in our favor. I'm going to be playing counter-attacking football, and using the 4-5-1 as our starting formation for the first time in ages.
Starting Formation: 4-5-1 Counter
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Zouaghi, Damgaard, Allan, Moctezuma, Mujkic (c), Stringel.
Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Tounkara, Lewis, Bouzid, Lundbye, Thiago.
I focused on defense in the run up to this match, but it didn't take. We suffer a nightmare start as United score 18 seconds into the match. They threaten further, but don't add to their lead. Even so, we're looking completely punchless and Manchester United are playing inspired soccer. I switch us to the 4-2-3-1 in a fight for the equalizer, clearly we weren't getting anything done on the counter attack.
Formation and tactics make no difference. United score twice in the second half and send us down to a humiliating defeat where they outshone us at every position. It was an awful capitulation on our part and Manchester's statement victory says clearly that they don't think the title race is over yet, not by a long shot.
Man United 3-0 Wrexham
At Swansea, April 15, 2028
Premier League
Despite the loss we're up four points on United. They have a game in hand. That means, realistically, that we're only up a point on United. A single draw or loss could scuttle us if they win out. Our trip to Swansea is due to be the hardest match left on our league schedule, with only an away match at Brentford and home matches against Leeds and Huddersfield otherwise remaining.
Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Shirra, Lundbye, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Lewis, Bouzid, Damgaard, Rickard.
We're looking much better than we did in Manchester, and a double salvo as the match nears thirty minutes elapsed has us looking a solid bet for the win, but ex-Wrexham youth player Adrian Read has Swansea back within a shout moments later. I warn our players to keep their guard up, but it doesn't prevent Mujkic and Lundbye from both getting injured in blind side challenges early in the second half. We hold serve into the final minute, when Swansea mount a relentless attack and Minami is forced to make two saves to keep us from conceding the backbreaking equalizer. We escape with the three points, and that's all that matters.
Man of the Match: James Loseille
Swansea 1-2 Wrexham
Lundbye is out for the rest of the season, probably. It's a good thing Moctezuma is healthy again, we've suffered hellacious attrition at that position this season.
The bigger concern is Meteor's injury. He'll get through the Madrid trip, but if he's unable to play after that we'll be missing our Captain and our best creative player through the end of the year.
It's coming down to the wire, but we still hold our fate in our own hands. Win three matches against teams that are 12th, 14th, and 15th on the table and we win our third straight Premier League title. Beat Real Madrid and either Arsenal or Juventus, and we raise a nearly unprecedented third straight European Cup. Overcome old foe Tackleford and we lift the FA Cup for a third time.
Do all three and we triumph in every single competition we entered, setting the bar for the most successful club season across all of football's long history.
BOARD MEETING(Distractedly) Hell, everyone, and welcome to the annual board meeting. There will be five questions before you, largely having to do with the financial status of the club. As always, here are our balance sheet summaries to assist your decision-making.
We are presently in the black, with £5.6m on hand. We will likely remain in the black through the close of the season, and will then see our balance spike as Premier League and Champions League monies are deposited in mid to late May. I expect that we will have roughly £60m on hand at that point, meaning that the club will have turned a slight profit or come within spitting distance of doing so.
Our expenses are on pace to come in significantly lower this season than last, even accounting for spending £22m less on transfers. This comes from a smaller bonus pool, a decline in player wages, and a reduction in taxes owed to the Crown.
At the same time our new stadium will allow us to earn an additional £12m in gate receipts, match day income, and season tickets. Unfortunately it seems unlike that we will see our merchandise revenue continue to grow, discrete inquiries have revealed that clubs such as Arsenal and Manchester United are actually moving less branded merchandise than we are.
On the bright side, we have our main jersey sponsorship coming up for renewal this season. As it's been five years since it was last updated and we've grown drastically as a commercial force in that time we should expect to double or triple the current £7.3m/year deal. By way of comparison Arsenal and Chelsea have kit sponsorships that bring in £30m a year.
Question One: Overall budget
(Boringly) We're spending £2.3m a week on wages, or £119.6m a year. You can see that such a sum places us fourth in the league in payroll.
We also spent £5.7m on transfer fees this season. Combined that comes to £125.3m, or £37.4m under the cap of £162.67 decided one year ago. I believe £120m to £130m is what this club can spend on salaries and transfers while breaking even.
Please list a sum between £80m and £180m for next year's player budget.
Question Two: Affiliate club
(Impertinently) It comes time to determine if we should add another feeder club to our roster. As I feel the board as done a less than impressive job in negotiating links with other clubs, I would like to request that you let me handle the search and negotiation. I would be seeking a commercial link to a Chinese club to increase our sales footprint there.
A) (Obsequiously) We are sure that your negotiating skills are as sharp in the boardroom as they are at the transfer deadline. By all means take the lead on this endeavor. (I will personally seek out a Chinese club to create a commercial affiliation akin to our Chivas USA agreement)
B) (Irately) Stick to football, you brat. We know business, and we'll show you when we strike an agreement with a foreign club. (The board will attempt to create a financial link with a foreign club)
C) (Snootily) I think we know what is best for the club, and how best to grow our income. Run along now. (No affiliate club sought.)
Question Three: Stadium Expansion
(Smugly) My milkshake has brought all the boys to the yard. And damn right, it's better than yours.
Unfortunately, we hardly have room for them all, and the only seats left over on most days are nosebleeds in the corners and far from the pitch. We have the ability to expand the stadium to increase the number of seats to almost 47,500 from the present 39,500. The expansion would cost £7.75m, and would be completed in late September of this year.
A) (Musingly) It seems like there are people who are being left out in the cold by a lack of available tickets. More tickets sold equals more income. More income equals
B) (Skeptically) I don't think there are many people who want tickets but can't get them.
Question Four: Walk-up Ticket Prices
(Arcanely) The board has not directly changed the club's ticket pricing regime in the past, leaving it to the marketing office, but given that you are the board this does fall under your jurisdiction.
Our average ticket price is presently among the less expensive in the Premier League at £39.43. That is £10.57 less than Arsenal and Chelsea, and £3.80 more than Nottingham Forest.
By what percentage should we raise or lower our average ticket price? (e.g. -10% or +25%)
Question Five: Season Ticket Prices
(Daringly) Our season ticket prices also fall under your purview, if you wish to change them.
Currently our season tickets are fourth most expensive in England at £796. They are still some way off of Arsenal's £1640, but are more than twice as costly as Aston Villa's £473.
By what percentage should we raise or lower our average season ticket price? (e.g. -20% or +15%)
Voting will be open until the end of Friday, February 20th.
GOON CUPWe're getting close to the time for the Goon Cup. It will be a straight knockout tournament with random seeding, and I'm going to cap the number of teams at 16 so that the most games anyone will play is four. You will need Football Manager 14 version 14.3.1 to play.
I've set up a sign-up sheet here, if we have over 15 entrants I'll draw lots to see who gets in. Likewise, if there are fewer than 15 interested people it will be an 8 team tournament. In either case, the teams that don't make it will be kept as alternates if someone in the tournament can't make it. Signups will be open until Thursday, February 19, at 12pm EST. The draw will be posted here shortly after that. The first round matches will take place between Friday, February 20, 12pm EST and Monday, February 23, 12pm EST. The draw for the quarterfinal round will be posted by Tuesday, February 24, at 12pm EST, and the second round will take place from Friday, February 28, at 12am EST through Monday, 12am EST.
Once the draw is made participants will have 72 hours to play their opponent, or be replaced by an alternate or, in the case of the semi-final and final, the team they defeated to reach that round. All matches are to be played at a neutral site, for 90 minutes plus Extra Time, and penalties if necessary.
If there's something I'm overlooking, let me know so I can correct it!